Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
