are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
