i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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