Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
