tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
