If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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