i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
