Are we in a gay sports bar?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
this will be a night to untag.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
