The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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