Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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