we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
