How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
