I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
where are you?
Hypothermia
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
