grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
as a side note pls kill me
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