there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
