its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
