I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
someone owes me an orgasm
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
