I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
