My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
