i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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