YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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