You work out of a Hotel?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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