Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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