im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we're making bets on your personal life
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
