quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
