Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
