So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
