3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
