Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
