before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
