garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i think i have herpe
just one?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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