dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
