Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just high enough for therapy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
