remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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