Sponge bath it is.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
