She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
