I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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