Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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