dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
