i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
