they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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