Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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