There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
