had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
