Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
