Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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