He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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