Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
