so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
