we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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